{"product_id":"breaking-news-were-all-doomed-candle-political-satire-dark-humor-soy","title":"Breaking News: We're All Doomed Candle | Political Satire, Dark Humor Soy","description":"A soy candle with stark, text-forward satire that channels the ‘absurdist America’ exhaustion-merch trend. The label reads a short, snarky news-style headline in high-contrast, glitch-accented type over a tiny retro TV icon, pairing dark-humor commentary with a calm, hand-poured candle experience. It offers a cathartic, shareable nod to media overload while filling a room with a chosen aromatic profile from crisp apple to warm cinnamon or oceanic musk.\n\nProduct features\n- 100% natural soy wax blend, 100% cotton wick, glass jar\n- Burning time: 50-60 hours\n- Reusable glass vessel (cleanable after use)\n- Glossy permanent adhesive label\n- Compliant with ASTM safety standards\n\nCare instructions\n- Keep burning candle within sight. Keep away from children and pets.  Never burn the candle near flammable items. \t\t\t\t\t\n","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Clean Cotton \/ 9oz","offer_id":43085840121919,"sku":"11861099333746491178","price":22.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sea Salt + Orchid \/ 9oz","offer_id":43085840154687,"sku":"16082901661590855865","price":22.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Sage and Lavender \/ 9oz","offer_id":43085840187455,"sku":"16238078548844929132","price":22.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Apple Harvest \/ 9oz","offer_id":43085840220223,"sku":"24635511525776198828","price":22.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cinnamon Vanilla \/ 9oz","offer_id":43085840252991,"sku":"31817027335600475574","price":22.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Christmas Warmth \/ 9oz","offer_id":43085840285759,"sku":"20752674407311208728","price":22.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coconut Cream + Cardamom \/ 9oz","offer_id":43085840318527,"sku":"18052009559942231053","price":22.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Peppered Passionfruit \/ 9oz","offer_id":43085840351295,"sku":"13867948926328397175","price":22.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unscented \/ 9oz","offer_id":43085840384063,"sku":"33373341895563611771","price":22.15,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0621\/9903\/8015\/files\/17355428824508774302_2048.jpg?v=1775841630","url":"https:\/\/zbf60g-cg.myshopify.com\/es\/products\/breaking-news-were-all-doomed-candle-political-satire-dark-humor-soy","provider":"Tristan’s Treehouse","version":"1.0","type":"link"}